How to Manage Stress with The 4 A’s

While stress is a part of being human, it’s arguable that today’s fast paced and complex work and home environments have peaked society’s stress levels higher than ever. Learning how to manage stress can help you balance your life better – finding time for work, relationships, leisure and fun and building resilience to hold up better under pressure.

If you are wanting to learn how to manage stress, one of the common ways to reduce stress is to practice the four A’s of stress management: avoid, alter, adapt or accept.

Avoiding Unnecessary Stress

While avoidance is not always a healthy strategy when exploring how to manage stress, there are many unnecessary stressors that can be eliminated simply through avoidance. This could include saying “no” to commitments in your professional or personal life that are going to push you beyond your limits, or reducing the time you spend with individuals who add stress to your life.

Learning how to manage stress through avoidance could also include taking control of your environment: avoiding traveling in peak traffic, switching off the news, or opting for shopping online rather than facing busy and time-consuming stores. This strategy also extends to certain subject matter that upsets you. If you find yourself constantly arguing with a relative over religion or politics, cross those subjects off the conversation list, stick to your game plan when you’re tempted to reengage, and leave the conversation if the topic arises.

Avoidance also extends to extra items on your to-do list. One of the simpler ways to reduce stress includes taking an in-depth look at your list of responsibilities and daily tasks, and getting honest about which items you could put off or eliminate entirely.

Altering Certain Situations

Since we aren’t always able to avoid the things that stress us out, learning how to manage stress may involve making changes in certain situations rather than avoiding them entirely. This could include altering how you respond in specific circumstances i.e. choosing to communicate your concerns with someone who is bothering you versus bottling them up and building resentment. On the contrary, altering a situation could include you choosing to compromise e.g. ceding a third point in an argument if your first two have been accepted. Taking control of your behavior – perhaps by being more assertive or prioritizing work/life balance is another way to alter situations to help reduce stress.

Adapting in the Face of Stress

It is difficult to know how to manage stress if there is no way to change any element of a stressor you are faced with. In these instances, you could try changing your perspective instead. Adapting to circumstances you can’t control might serve you better in the long run. Reframing problems may find you tuning into your favorite podcast during a traffic jam, or realizing that that argument with a stranger will be meaningless in a week’s time. Practicing gratitude is another one of the healthy ways to reduce stress helping you put certain issues into perspective and bring those things you appreciate most into the foreground of your focus.

Adapting to certain stressors may require adjusting your standards as well. If you are a natural perfectionist, being okay with “good enough” may be an important part of learning how to manage your stress better.

Accepting Unchangeable Circumstances

Sometimes, stress is unavoidable, as is the case with a serious illness, a natural disaster or the death of a loved one. While it can be more difficult than it sounds, accepting a tough situation is one of the most powerful ways to reduce stress. Acceptance also requires relinquishing control over the uncontrollable. Relationships and human interactions are primary sources of stress, probably because the behavior of other people is beyond our control. While we aren’t in the driver’s seat when it comes to what others might say or do, we do get to choose how we react.

As hard as it may seem to do in the moment, choosing to look at challenges as opportunities for growth is a powerful strategy for learning how to manage stress. Expressing what you’re going through can also be one of the more helpful ways to reduce stress when there is nothing else within your control. Regularly talking to a trusted friend or therapist may become a helpful habit to build when learning how to manage stress.

It can be difficult to know how to manage stress. If you are feeling overwhelmed, using alcohol or drugs to cope, or having thoughts about hurting yourself, it’s time to seek the help of a healthcare provider. There are a number of different strategies to help you learn how to manage your stress, including medication and natural remedies, such as meditation.