How to Calm Down from Anger, Anxiety or Overwhelm

Getting worried or upset from time to time is part of the human experience. But sometimes those feelings can take over and it may seem like you’re not in control of your reactions.

If you’re feeling angry, anxious, or overwhelmed, it can be difficult to know how to calm down. Having a few calming techniques on hand can help you manage your feelings better in the moment. Some general strategies include focusing on your breath, meditating, moving your body, getting fresh air, or resetting your mood by listening to music.

If you want to learn how to calm yourself down, consider adding these calming techniques to your toolbox.

Identify Your Stress Response

When you’re angry, upset, or overwhelmed, your “fight-or-flight” stress response often kicks in. This is when anxiety can turn into panic attacks or anger might escalate into uncontrollable behavior. Understanding more about your personal response to stress can help you learn how to calm down and manage your reactions better. Internally, we all respond the same: blood pressure rises, the heart pumps faster, and muscles restrict. But externally, stress may manifest into different reactions.

If you become withdrawn, spaced out, or depressed while under stress, you may have an under-excited stress response and benefit from stimulating or energizing stress relief activities. If you feel completely “stuck”, your mind draws a blank, and your body shuts down when upset, you may experience a “freeze” response that is best processed with physical movement and a focus on the body rather than thoughts.

If you tend to become agitated, angry, or overly emotional, calming techniques like those suggested in this article may suit you better and help you learn how to calm down.

Label the Feeling

Taking the time to identify exactly what you are feeling (e.g. “I’m not just upset, I am frustrated”) may both help you to express it more healthily and reduce the feeling due to you processing it better.

Try a Quick Distraction

Fully absorbing yourself in another activity can provide an important reset if you’re feeling overwhelmed and need to know how to calm down. Small strategies such as leaving the room or counting backwards can be surprisingly effective calming techniques. If you have the time, this popular sensory exercise can help regulate your nervous system in addition to serving as a distraction. Using your immediate surroundings, name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.

Ask Yourself Key Questions

Some grounding questions in a critical situation could be instrumental in teaching yourself how to calm down. These could include, “Will this matter to me in a week’s time?” or “Does this deserve the level of reaction I am giving?” or “Will I let this circumstance/person disturb my peace?”

Giving the situation a “reality test” can help you side-step the irrational behavior that often accompanies anxious or angry feelings.

Chew Gum

You may not feel like eating when upset, but chewing gum can be a useful anti-anxiety or anger strategy. It has been found to help tune out external stressors and inhibit the proliferation of stress-related information in the brain.

Sigh Deeply

Focusing on the breath is a staple for managing stress, anger or anxiety, but you aren’t always afforded the opportunity to do so. If you’re short on time or in the middle of a conversation but need to know how to calm down, swap mindful breathing for a mindful sigh: breathing in slowly, mentally counting to ten, and then sighing fully through the mouth to refocus.

Relax Your Body

A tense body contributes to mental stress and vice-a-versa. Try adding progressive muscle relaxation to your quota of calming techniques. Lie down on the floor or sit back in a comfortable chair. Keep feet uncrossed and hands relaxed at your sides. Start by clenching your toes momentarily, then releasing them. Slowly work your way up and through the body, clenching and releasing until your whole body feels relaxed. Stress and tension can also cause the shoulders to tense up around the ears. Throughout the day, focus on drawing your shoulder blades together and dropping them down the back.

Utilize Pressure Points

Massage and acupuncture are highly effective tools when considering how to calm down anxiety or anger. However, these may be too time-costly if you’re looking for fast-acting calming techniques. Recruiting pressure points can help you manage overwhelming feelings. Try focusing on the area between your wrist and hand where creases form. Press down with your thumb for two minutes to help relieve tension.

Learning how to calm down in stressful situations can take time. If you are struggling regularly with overwhelming feelings, chat to someone you trust or try a cognitive behavioral therapy session.